What I would change

If I could, there is one thing I would change about myself. I would change my “first impression”. This probably sounds strange. I first heard the word “intimidating” about 18 years ago when we were serving in a church in Michigan. I went to a girls night out at one of the ladies houses that attended the church. Overall, the night was fun. We played cards, ate food, and laughed. Towards the end of the night, one of the ladies said,  “ You  know, I never thought I could like someone like you but you are a lot of fun. You were so intimidating but now I think you are really nice.” And yes, I remember the conversation like it was yesterday. Not because it is unique, but because I have had several conversations over the last 18 years that have resembled this… “ I was so intimidated by you” or “ I was too nervous to talk to you”.

I have really worked hard to change this about myself. I have asked God to make me “more nice” and “more approachable” and “less intimidating” but it doesn’t seem to be working. Today, again, I am reminded of this “impression” I leave and am just at a loss for what else I can do. I need to be real. I need to be who I am. But is this impression that I am leaving showing Christ in me. Are people able to see past this to my brokenness and submissive spirit?

Out of obedience this morning, I am writing this. We all have struggles, things that we would love to change about ourselves. Things that we think would make us more Christ-like. This morning I am reminded by God that He loves me despite my weakness. He created me uniquely. He wants me to be who I am, continuing to strive to be more like him. To walk with Him in humbleness, brokenness, and open to hear his leading in all I do and who he is creating me to be.

To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy- to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.

Jude 1:24-25

This is Twambo. He has been such a blessing to me. Everytime we show up at the childrens home, he runs to us with open arms shouting "Auntie!"...not intimidated, just loving us and us loving them! So thankful for his uninhibited love!

Let the little children come

We have had the priviledge while staying here in Zambia to visit an orphanage just down the street from our house. This has become a daily treat for many on the team. There are 3 homes in the area, all run by the same organization. The first home, where I usually visit, has children 8 and under, 20 kids in all. They have many stories of being orphaned, abandoned, or unwanted. But they all share the same need, to love and to be loved. So, that is what we are doing. Loving these kids while we can: Playing, running, singing, coloring, letting them braid (and I use that term losely) our hair, and lots of Laughing. Shraing Gods Love by showing up. So, I wanted to share with you some of these beautiful faces that we have had the pleasure to get to know. And behind each face, each stare...is Christ asking us, "who will go? Who will love? Who will serve?". I am so thankful to share in their lives and laughter! 

This is Lashomo. She cries alot. She is new to the home recently being "dropped off". She has changed over the last few weeks. She smiles and has even had a fit of Laughter!

Ruthy. She is not a fan of me. Haha. But she loves Auntie Taylor and they have developed a true bond.

They build strong friendships and care for one another.

There are two special needs children at the orphanage. What a joy to help feed and bath them.

Love

Uncle Joe is a big hit. He does most of the running, spinning and climbing.

Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdon of God belongs to such as these. Mark 10:14

For He spoke and it came to be...

Sing joyfully to the LORD, you righteous;
   it is fitting for the upright to praise him.
Praise the LORD with the harp;
   make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre.
Sing to him a new song;
   play skillfully, and shout for joy.

 For the word of the LORD is right and true;
   he is faithful in all he does.

The LORD loves righteousness and justice;
   the earth is full of his unfailing love.

 By the word of the LORD the heavens were made,
   their starry host by the breath of his mouth. 

 He gathers the waters of the sea into jars^[a];
   he puts the deep into storehouses.
Let all the earth fear the LORD;
   let all the people of the world revere him. 

 For he spoke, and it came to be;
   he commanded, and it stood firm.

 The LORD foils the plans of the nations;
   he thwarts the purposes of the peoples. 

 But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever,
   the purposes of his heart through all generations.

 Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD,
   the people he chose for his inheritance.
From heaven the LORD looks down
   and sees all mankind;
from his dwelling place he watches
   all who live on earth—
he who forms the hearts of all,
   who considers everything they do.

 No king is saved by the size of his army;
   no warrior escapes by his great strength.
A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;
   despite all its great strength it cannot save.
But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him,
   on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,
to deliver them from death
   and keep them alive in famine.

 We wait in hope for the LORD;
   he is our help and our shield.
In him our hearts rejoice,
   for we trust in his holy name.
May your unfailing love be with us, LORD,
   even as we put our hope in you.

The grass withers...

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!

In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade- kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

 Though you have not seen him,

 you love him;

and even though you do not see him now,

you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith,

the salvation of your souls.

1Peter1:3-9

Today my blog is not my own...it is God's Word. Althought the grass withers and the flowers fade, the word of our Lord endures forever!(1Peter 1:23) I don't think I could add anything to this!

Clarity

I just want to come clean. Getting my doctorate stinks. Sorry to disappoint all those academic-types that read this, but this is my truth. It has been difficult, especially doing 2 classes while here in Zambia. The internet is sketchy at best. Last week, it took 20 minutes to download a 3 page article for a paper I was writing. So why am I doing this? I have asked myself that same question, sometimes daily. When these questions come, I reflect back to a time 2 years ago, when both Thad and I prayed for clarity on this very question. And, Yes, we did hear from God that this was what He would have me to do.

This is often the path that difficult things take in my life. I pray. Ask God if He wants me to do this or that. He says yes. It gets hard. Then I ask if He really meant what He said!

When I am having days like today, questioning if this was his path or mine, He gently reminds me of a simpler time that things were clear, when his direction and path were open in front of me.

Today I am resting in his promise of faithfulness, mercy, and perfect love that comes from the Lord, who does not change like shifting shadows.(James 1:17); and I am looking intently into his perfect law that gives freedom, not forgetting what I heard, but doing it (1:25).

New every morning

Finally. After 7 years, several trips overseas, and a few bug bites I finally got it: Malaria. Malaria, for those of you who do not know, is a common disease here in africa. It is a parasite infection carried from person to person through masquitos. It takes about 7-10 days for symptoms to begin. It is diagnosed through a blood smear visualized on microscope. It has a slow onset with a variety of symptoms, including fever, body aches, GI symptoms, fatigue, and anemia. It is treated with readily available medications bought at the chemistry in town. So this morning while everyone packed up and left for churches, I stayed back...in bed...unshowered...achey...and a irritated that I couldn't go. Surrounded by my antimalaria meds, motrin, pepsid, and of course a little coffee...here I am.

My lesson today is not a new one...just one I don't think I have completely grasped.

It is by God and God alone that I live and breath and have my being. It is him who gives me strength to do all things...like getting out of bed!

Easy to say, more difficult to live out. My prayer today is that in all things I can see God and know for certain that He is my strength. And not just for me, but for you. May God give you the assurance today that He is in all things and that through him you may find his strength to face whatever is before you.

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wair for him."

Let it Rain

Zambia has two seasons: dry and rainy. October begins the rainy season for us. October was hot and no rains came. November began, and still no rains. The Zambians tell us that the winds have been unusually strong for this time of the year. We have appreciated the breeze they have brought to us when the temperatures have risen over 100, but the fears here were real. Would the winds blow the rains past the land this year? Would this be a season of drought? So we have been praying for the rains to come. We have prayed that God would bring forth rains for the land of Zambia.

And it came. In buckets. For 2 hours.

We were sitting in the living space finishing our prayer time and we began to hear it fall on the roof. It became louder and louder. At “Amen”, we all got up and ran outside. We didn’t stop at the porch, but ran into the road, laughing, shouting, dancing, and then we began to sing. The unplanned worship on the dirt road in the rain was one of the most memorable times I have experienced here thus far.

I wish I could have shown you a video of that time. Standing in a circle, embracing each other, recognizing that this was food for the land from the God Most High!

You heavens above, rain down righteousness; let the clouds shower it down. Let the earth open wide, let salvation spring up, let righteousness grow with it; I, the Lord, have created it. Isaiah 45:8